


I Needed Him

by WallflowerWrites



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Peter Parker Dies, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug, idk i just wanted to make him hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WallflowerWrites/pseuds/WallflowerWrites
Summary: Spider-Man is dead, and now Wade is left to pick up the pieces of what's left all by himself.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Wade Wilson, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	I Needed Him

It had been months since Peter Parker died. It was a risky mission with the avengers that did it. Absolutely everything was falling to pieces around them during the fight. Skyscrapers came tumbling down, people getting crushed beneath them. Peter did everything he could to keep as many people alive as possible. He spun webs into baskets to catch the giant pieces of rubble while other avengers like Cap and Black Widow evacuated everyone. He was so concerned for others he didn't pay attention to the building collapsing behind him. It had been one of the two buildings holding up his makeshift web basket filled with pieces of building and rubble. It was too heavy for it to hold, so everything came crashing down on him.

Wade was sitting at home when it happened, it was the one day he decided not to tag along incase something happened. 

"I'll be fine!" Peter reassured him, "it's just a small mission, promise. Nothing big is supposed to be going down today."

The taller man set down his coffee cup and sighed.

"I don't know Webs, I mean what if something goes wrong and it turns into something big, I just-"

The brunette reached up on his toes to kiss his boyfriend's cheek. 

"Nothing bad will happen, promise. You need a day off."

Wade knew his boyfriend was right. He'd been overworking himself for the last couple of days trying to find jobs that didn't involve killing people. Since him and his spider-boyfriend moved in with each other there had been a strict "no kill rule," and Wade wanted to keep his boyfriend happy. So he went looking for someone else. He had secretly been taking a few jobs here and there, but what Peter didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"I guess you're right," he sighed out, "just call me if anything turns bad, okay?"

Peter pulled on his mask, heading for the window to swing across town.

"I will! See you later babe! I love you!"

"I love you too Webs."

But Wade new something was wrong when night started to fall and Peter still wasn't home yet. He turned on the TV to keep his mind off of it, thinking that maybe the avengers were just having a meeting and that's why he was running late. After all he promised to call if there was any danger. However when he looked at the screen, he was met with what he feared the most.

The news had in big block letters "SPIDERMAN IS DEAD" they started playing videos of his death that people had caught on their phones. Wade sat there is disbelief.

"No," he said under his breath, "no no no no no" each word got louder as he said them. The mutant grabbed his phone out from his pocket as quickly as possible, calling his boyfriend.

"Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up" he said over and over again as he heard the phone ring, but no one picked up. All he was met with is an automated message.  
"Hi this is Peter! I can't come to the phone right now but-"

Wade cut it off by hanging up. The anti-hero dropped the phone and rested his hands on his knees, looking down at the floor.

"Fuck Webs, please be okay."

He went to bed later that night, hoping it was all some terrible dream he'd wake up from. But all he was met with was empty arms and a knock at the door. Wade woke himself up from his groggy state to answer it, hoping it was Peter coming home. When he opened the door he was met with Tony and Steve at the door. The two avengers exchanged a glance then looked at the mutant.

"Wade," Tony said, "we need to tell you something.. and we think it's best that you sit down.."

Wade nodded, knowing what was coming.

"Oh um.. sure, come in." 

He opened the door to the two of them, guiding them to their kitchen and sitting down at the table.

"So what do you need to tell me?" The taller man put on a fake smile in front of the two other men, acting like nothing was wrong.

"Wade we.." Steve started, "We don't know how to tell you this but-"

"Peter's gone." Tony cut Steve off, finishing his sentence and getting straight to the point. He didn't see any reason to drag it out anymore than was needed, ripping it off like a band-aid.

Wade froze in his seat. He knew what had happened but having someone saying it to his face hurt so much more than seeing it on the TV. He clenched his fists, looking down at the table.

"What?"

"We're so, so sorry. It wasn't meant to be a big mission, but we should have known better." Steve told him.

Wade snapped his head up and looked Cap in the eyes.

"Yeah, you should've." His tone was cold and stern, something neither of the two other men had seen from him before. And if they were being honest, it kind of scared them.  
"You two promised to protect him."

"Wade we couldn't have known, we're sorry." Steve tried to tell him.

"Why didn't you help him?" Wade shot back, his voice was sharp and it felt like a knife was being held to the blonde's neck.

"We did the best we could we-" Tony tried to say.

"No! No you didn't!" Wade yelled at the avengers, "I saw the fucking videos last night. You didn't do shit." Wade gritted his teeth, giving a death glare to the two men. "And you didn't even bother to fucking tell me the day it happened! I had to find out my boyfriend died on the fucking TV!"

Tony and Steve hung their heads in guilt. They couldn't bare to look at Wade, especially when everything he was saying was true. It was all just being flown back into their faces after thinking that way all night after it happened.

"And you Tony?" Wade continued, "You were like a father to him, and you let him die."

"I know, and I regret it more than anything. " The black-haired man sighed.

Wade dug his nails into his palms so hard, he could start to feel blood running down his hands. It stung, but he didn't care.

"It should have been you." He muttered under his breath, just loud enough for both of the two men to hear. Those words shook Tony to his core, but he didn't fight them. 

"I think we should go." Steve said, grabbing Tony by his forearm and walking him out of the apartment. Neither of them even bothered to say goodbye, they just left Wade alone in the quiet apartment to grieve.

The months that passed after Peter's death were some of the most painful of Wade's life. He didn't eat and barley slept. He spent most days in their bedroom, holding and smelling Peter's clothes, sobbing into them. He was sure he "died" of hunger a few times in his sleep, but to his dismay he'd wake up fine. Those says he wanted nothing more than to be able to die. He started to become self destructive, taking up jobs that he knew would hurt him the most. Just because he could heal fast, didn't mean getting shot and stabbed didn't hurt like hell. Some days he'd go in with just his katanas to draw them out, letting himself be shot at before he decapitated some son of a bitch. It hurt him a little every time he did it, knowing that Peter would be upset with him. But he couldn't stop.

Before he knew it, a few months became a year. He tried to move on, but everywhere he went all he saw was Peter getting crushed. They never even recovered his body, it was too buried for them to get. All they buried at the funeral was one of his spidey suits, and what was left of Wade's heart along with it. 

He started to call up old friends to keep him company, even though he doubted anyone would want to put up with him. He scrolled through his contacts as he sat on his couch, wearing one of Peter's sweaters. Wade hadn't washed his boyfriend's clothes, he wanted them to keep his scent. It was one of the few things he had left of him.  
"Dead, dead, dead, hates me, dead, dead.." he went on as he scrolled through the names in his phone until he stopped on Cable's. He stared at the contact, thinking. He felt so stupid not thinking about it before. Cable could help him get Peter back. He hesitated a moment before pressing the call button. 

"C'mon, pick up." He muttered under his breath. There were a few rings before he heard Cable's deep voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Hi Cable." Wade breathed out.

"Wade?"

"Yeah, it's me." His normally joking tone was gone, being replaced with a sad, sullen tone.

"Are you okay? You sound.. different.."

"Yeah your boyfriend dying will do that to you." He laughed out, trying to hide his pain with humor like always. 

"Oh god.. Wade I'm so sor-"

"Yeah save it dude, I've had enough pity this year to last a lifetime." He spoke with his hands as if Cable was in the room with him to see it.

"Okay. So why are you calling?"

"Well.. um.. could I come over? I.. I don't want to be alone."

"Yeah.. yeah of course."

"Okay, um, I'll be there in a bit. Bye."

"Bye."

Wade hung up the phone, throwing it down on the couch. He let out another sigh as if he had been holding his breath the entire phone call. The mutant lifted himself off the couch to grab his mask, taking in the silence that filled the room. Even after a year, he still hadn't gotten used to it. His mask was on their bead, laying on Peter's side of the bed. It was the only thing to show that his side of the bed had ever been used. Wade's side was messy and filled with trash, but he made an effort to keep Peter's side clean. It was as if he was waiting for Peter to walk through that door again, smiling and laughing. He just wanted this to be a big elaborate prank, of he showed up now he wouldn't even be mad. He'd just kiss the ever living shit out of him. But he knew that wouldn't happen until he got his ass over to Cable's place. So he grabbed his mask, pulled it over his head, and walked out of the apartment.

He arrived at Cable's place about an hour later. He was up in an abandoned apartment complex, but the inside was better than the outside. The rooms were big, and cable managed to make his room look like a proper apartment instead of a mess that was falling apart.

"Coffe?" Cable offered, two coffee mugs in his hand. 

"Sure." Wade said, taking one of the hot drinks from his hand. The taller man sat down by Wade on his couch, looking over at the other man.

"I.. I'm sorry about Spider-" 

"Peter." Wade cut him off.

"What?"

"Peter. His real name was Peter Parker."

"Like that kid that took photos of superheroes for the news?"

"Yeah, him." Wade looked over at the other man, "how do you know that?"

"I read the news?"

"Huh, I never took you as a read the news guy." He told him, taking a sip of his coffee. "But yeah, that was my Peter."

"Doesn't seem like your type." Cable joked.

"Yeah I know, he's way too much of a goodie two shoes." Wade laughed out, "But I loved him anyways."

Cable hummed out an approving tone, but it still amazed him Wade could fall for someone that didn't even seem like he'd bang him on the first date.

"You know he actually got me to stop killing for a bit."

"You? Seriously?"

"Well not completely," he laughed, "I took up jobs behind his back. But I did actually stop for a few months at first."

Cable smiled at Wade.

"Seems like he was a good influence."

"Yeah.. I guess he was." 

Wade tapped his fingers against his mug, looking down into the light brown liquid of coffee mixed with creamer. Cable looked at Wade, placing down his own mug onto the table next to him.

"Why are you really here Wade?" He asked. Wade froze in his seat, he should've known he would see right through him. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"I.. um.. I know you can travel in time.. and I was hoping-"

"Wade.."

Wade placed down his coffee cup and moved towards Cable.

"Cable, Cable please... I just need this one thing."

Cable sighed.

"Wade.. you know I can't do that."

"But you can! It'd be so easy!"

"Wade please." The taller man said, getting out of his seat. He rubbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "I.. this would have so many repercussions, I don't know..."

Wade got up and followed him across the room.

"Oh so you can do it for your wife and kids but not for the love of my life?!" Wade yelled at him. Cable froze and resisted the urge to punch the shorter man in the face, knowing it wouldn't do anything.

"Wade." He said sternly, "You can't mess with things you don't understand. You could create a time paradox."

"So what?! I don't fucking care! I want my boyfriend back!"

Cable turned and grabbed Wade's shoulders, he put pressure on them so much that Wade thought he might break them underneath his hands.

"Wade I can be here because I don't exist yet. If you go back there, you still exist in that time. If anything it would kill him, you, and everyone else."

Wade could feel the tears welling up behind his mask.

"No.." he said under his breath, "please I.. I need him.. I need him back! Please!" 

He tore off his mask, not being able to hold back his emotions anymore. He had bottled up so much for a year that it finally was all spilling out. Cable's grip on Wade loosened as he fell to the floor.

"Fuck! I just need him back! There is nothing left for me but him! And Jesus fucking christ the world just hates me so much that it took him too!"

Cable stared down at Wade being a complete emotional wreck.

"I'm sorry Wade," the taller man said, "you need to let him go."

"I.. I can't!" He gasped out, "I won't fucking let go! He's the only one that loved me and truly knew me! How am I supposed to fucking let go of that?!" 

Wade had never told anyone any of this, but now he couldn't help it. He lost everything. Cable couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He knew what it was like to loose a loved one.

"Wade, I-" he tried to place a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, but it was hit away.

"No." Wade said sternly, "No, stay away from me." He got up from the floor, putting on his mask and running for the door. "This was a bad idea, I'll leave you the fuck alone."

He slammed the door behind him, running out of the building. He didn't look back, he just kept running like he was running away from all of his problems. From Peter's death, his depression, his thoughts of finally dying, he acted like they were all behind him about to gain on him.

When he got to their apartment he rushed inside. He couldn't take this anymore. If he couldn't die, then he'd do the next best thing. He grabbed his weapons bag and rummaged around, looking for his katanas and a gun. He found both of those things in a matter of minutes. Now all he needed was his laptop. He grabbed it from his nightstand, looking up what parts of the brain were responsible for storing memories. As soon as he found the info he was looking for, he got to work. He blew off the top of his head so he could grab at his brain and cut it. It hurt more than anything he's ever experienced, but it would be worth it. He stuck one of his katanas into his skull, slicing it away. After all he could regenerate a new part of his brain, but his memories would be gone. And with the memories gone, the pain would be too. 

Wade dug around his skull and held the section in his hand for good measure to know it was truly gone. Then everything went black as he knocked out from the pain.  
When he woke up an hour later, his bed was covered in blood and he had no idea why. He examined where he was, not remembering anything. Nothing looked out of the ordinary to him, so he shrugged it off and decided to wash the sheets. Which was the first time he had done it since Peter died, but now he didn't know who Peter was. He didn't know who Spiderman was. All he'd come to know of him is that he was some superhero dude that died and everyone was sad about it. The memory of Peter Parker was finally gone, and with it was the Wade Wilson that he had fallen in love with.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of angsty Wade and Spidey fics in my back pocket, so I might post more of these :))


End file.
